Node.js Is Bad Ass Rock Star Tech

> What specifically is the problem with asyncio? Watch the very NSFW (lots of swearing) but hysterically funny video "node.js is bad ass rock star tech" on youtube sometime ;). ▶ this video

If you haven't seen it, you might find this entertaining: ▶ this video I really wish gar1t would make some new videos, I love them.

I disagree with the premise. I cannot imagine a better latency experience than blocking loop IDEs like VS6. Which inputs are getting latency? The keyboard? The files? > the non blocking nature ▶ this video

Little computer people was awesome[0]. Upscale it to a full size microsoft office[3]. Give agents neck bearded avatars with green hair named after real employees except from legal, there everyone is a pirate. Make it so that one can zoom in on everything and follow the cringe worthy dialog in overloaded sprint-planners that some~how work out. Take style pointers from KRAZAM Microservices[12] and gar1t's "Nodejs is bad ass rockstar tech"[44] [0] - link [3] - link [12] - link [44] - ▶ this video

No, the answer was that Node.js will run circles around Apache, because Apache was built before async was discovered[0]... 0: ▶ this video

Reminds me of the old "MongoDB is Web Scale" series of comedy videos: ▶ this video Some friends and I still jokingly troll each other in the vein of these, interjecting with "When async programming was discovered in 2008...", or "When memory safe compiled languages were invented in 2012..." and so forth.

That's funny. I was listening to this video ( ▶ this video ) Node.js is badass rockstar tech just barely, and one of the exact quotes is "Threads don't scale". I assumed it was just a joke, but here was see Poe's law in full effect.

> Make it web scale. Oh god whenever I read/hear that it reminds of the ridiculously funny video about nodejs and Apache servers. [1] [1]. ▶ this video

Those videos (that being the most infamous) will never stop being hilarious. The node.js one is also pretty amazing: ▶ this video

"If you're willing to suffer complex code for performance, why not just write an nginx module in C?" "node.js is is the most bad-ass rock star tech to come out since Ruby On Rails" ▶ this video ... "What was that last part again? I could have sworn you just said Lisp" (Yes, performance and scalability are complicated. Different solutions will be appropriate for different situations.)

▶ this video More seriously Node.js has some pretty major performance problems, like the fact that it's single threaded. You'll make excellent use of one core, but that's about it. It looks great on I/O bound request/second benchmarks, but as soon as your code needs to do meaningful work it doesn't scale anymore. The solution to that is to spawn multiple node instances to make use of the actual machine resources, but now you're on your own and why did you bother with node.js then in the first place?

> Node ... popularized the event-loop Tcl was doing event loops quite successfully in the late 90ies and was fairly popular, back in the day. These days, I'd use Erlang (Elixir). This is kind of ranty, but also makes me laugh: ▶ this video